Compassion and Our Perfection

Compassion and Our Perfection

This week’s blog is an excerpt from It’s That Simple: A User’s Manual For Human Beings by Mavis Karn. Letter Five – A Completely Whole, Perfect Person focuses on compassion and our innate, complete perfection.
 
With love,
Sara Joy
 __________________________________________________________________________________________

Letter Five

A Completely Whole, Perfect Person

 Dear reader,

The user’s manual assures us that we are already complete – that we have everything we need built into us from birth as a part of our divine engineering. In fact, since the day I first learned what’s in the user’s manual, I’ve never met or worked with a single human being who was broken.

I’ve met plenty of people who thought they were broken, some who could tell me where their brokenness came from, and still others who showed me doctor’s notes to certify the specific form their brokenness had taken. But in all that time, I’ve never met ONE PERSON who was not perfectly well made.
For example, I met a man yesterday who was very ill, sad, exhausted, and unable to see his way out of the heavy, dark place he found himself in. Besides being ill, he was also feeling the recent loss of a beloved sibling.

As I sat with him, I realized that I could feel him in my heart. It felt as though we were one person – that his being was also my being. I felt completely connected to him, like we were woven of the same fabric. It was a deep, loving, warm feeling of compassion.

What I did NOT feel was pity. I did NOT feel sorry for him. I did NOT worry about him. I did NOT try to cheer him up, give him advice, or try to fix him. I did NOT commiserate with him. (Definition of commiseration: agreeing to be miserable together.)

I haven’t always understood the vast difference between compassion and pity. That lack of understanding led me to react to suffering as though the person was helpless or weak or incomplete or “less than”. I would, without their permission, jump in and try to save them from their trouble – to solve their condition, to be their solution, or to be a hero.

How disrespectful!

How different it is to be able to see a fellow human being as an equal, as someone who is temporarily lost in a world of spinning, fearful thinking about their circumstances, just as I have been many times. How freeing it is to know that they are whole, complete, resilient fellow human beings who have just lost their way for a bit.

Here’s a story about one of the first times I really got how true that is…

Across the street from my office is a beautiful urban park, full of gardens, ponds, fountains, a basketball court, etc. Whenever I have a few moments, I take a walk and check the work of the Friends of Loring Park and their latest projects.

One day, as I approached the brick walkway around a flower garden, I saw a young mother pushing a stroller with a toddler in it. Hopping along in front of her was a little girl of about three, clutching a handful of flowers. Off to the side a few yards away, a man was sitting on a bench, bent over, staring at the ground. I imagined him to be homeless, surrounded by bags of belongings and looking despondent.

The little girl noticed him and stopped in her tracks. She stood there a moment and then walked over, reached out, and offered him the flowers. He looked at the flowers and tears rolled down his cheeks. She leaned in, patted his knee, and ran back to her mother. It took my breath away!

I may never have seen such a beautiful example of a human being’s natural capacity for love and compassion.

That little girl is who we all are. She did not need to be taught kindness, respect for human dignity, or any of the other things we adults hope our kids will learn. Once you’ve seen the perfection of who all of us (including you) are, you can never truly forget it. I know I will never forget that little girl.

If I am truly going to follow the golden rule and treat others the way I wish to be treated, I just need to show up and be myself. From there, I can bear witness to their distress and suffering by listening deeply to them from the cleanest, clearest feeling I can find. If there is anything more to be done, it will occur to me to do it.

I recommend compassion. Try it on for size. My guess is that it will be a good fit for you.

Much Love,
Mavis
__________________________________________________________________________________________
What Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara: frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Follow Your Path

  • What If Nothing Is A Problem?

  • Really Real Reality

Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff
Cute kitten at bedtime
http://reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g3vluo/goodnight/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--lzzj5rkK8jKjszVh4Uj1ZQsAiHJYgXFdf3ZIK9ke7LVE0UBEABM2q2f3qwXTE_I3FN9kXekVJMrPNoJy-m-1SeNMcCg&_hsmi=330755053

Outdated Thoughts

Outdated Thoughts
 
It all started with a thought...
 
I realized all of a sudden that I didn't need that thought anymore. Whatever it was. It would have been useful in the moment. At some moment in the past. Doesn't matter which moment. I suspect it got me the physical first aid help I needed. It was what drove me to communicate, with difficulty, that I was injured and needed help. I was being ignored. I'd hit my head and couldn't talk, couldn't stand up. In that moment that thought was wisdom. Now, it's just outdated.
 
Our innate wisdom, sometimes called intuition, is extremely powerful and guides us through every situation. Even when it looks as if all is lost. We make decisions about how to go forward, about how to get through the present moment. We make these decisions very quickly and without thinking about it.
 
Going forward, though, after the injury healed, it became outdated. Past its stale date. It didn't need to become a rule about life in general or a contract that I made with myself. And yet I was still reacting to life based on that thought.
 
The brain likes to be efficient. It's kind of lazy. It doesn't want to have to re-learn everything about how to navigate our environment all the time. It makes shortcuts. This is an immensely useful feature. Except when our previous bright ideas and shortcuts start running the show and getting in the way of the current moment. We have challenges being fully present. Always navigating and managing our busy thinking going in a number of different directions. This is true for everyone no matter your particular style of brain functioning.
 
The feeling of an outdated thought that's become a way of life for us is tension, anxiety, fear. An outdated thought that we give more and more attention to becomes a startle reaction. When we give weight to a thought by buying into the reaction, we are giving our brain the feedback that "yes this is what I want. Do this more."
 
It's a neutral non-judgmental system.
 
"Ok, you want more reactivity, in these cases. Sure thing, boss." 
 
Over time we get more and more successful at quick reactivity (and they get bigger and bigger). Now we have panic attacks. Then we make thoughts about the emotions and the reactivity and we get scared and judgmental of our own reactivity that we unknowingly asked for in the first place. What a mess!
 
Surprisingly, all it takes to go the other way back to calm is the knowledge of how our system works. Once you see that the emotional reactivity is entirely powered by an outdated no longer needed thought (and not by anything outside of you), the whole mess starts to unwind on its own. In fact, the less you "do" about it the quicker it washes away. Like a sandcastle in the tide. Because we are the "man behind the curtain" as it were, we are in charge. In knowing you don't need it (and you don't ever - nobody needs panic attacks - ever). It's never giving you information about the world around us but always giving you information about your own state of mind.
 
Our brain learns from us. We are the learning input. We can change it at any time.
 
When we slow down, mentally, we can "see" ourselves and our glitchy programming. Like a robot gone off plan. We are generally so busy, busy, busy-minded that we miss it. We're also accustomed to thinking that tension is normal, needed, and actually desirable.  We then generate more of it in a misguided attempt to somehow feel better.
 
In all cases, an outdated thought is because it helped us get through a tough or intense situation at one time. We don't ever need to know what that was or even what the specific thought or thoughts were. We feel the feeling of these no longer needed strategies and we call them by different names. Triggers, phobias, anxieties, issues, reactivity, addiction, cravings. Our emotional response, after the fact, to these thought-created feelings is also varied; anger, fear, shame and guilt are common. We then make our response to an outdated strategy into a problem or worse yet we decide that it means something about us as a person.
 
All that is ever going on is an unrecognized outdated thought.
 
Which is the awesomest news EVER!
 
Humans are designed to create and dissolve thoughts in a flash as needed and then no longer needed. We do it all day long. We only notice when the system gets a bit sticky. Thought is fluid, ephemeral, not actually a real thing, and dissolves when we see it for what it is. It changes back into the formless energy that it started from. And you get a boost of energy as well.
 
How do you "see it for what it is"?
 
It's like noticing a cloud in the sky. You notice it and get on with your day. You don't do anything with it. It's made of mist. We know that it will either dissipate or float on by left to its own devices. A cloud in the sky says nothing about the sky or the quality of the sun itself.  Just as thought says nothing about us as a person. You recognize thought and know that it'll pass and then get on with your day. Do nothing specific about the thought. This only creates more thinking and thought.
 
Literally forget it ever existed. It's a cloud. It'll pass.
 
The less we "do" with the clouds, the less clouds there are over time and the quicker the existing clouds dissipate.
 
Take it from someone who had A LOT of clouds hanging over her head and now there is mostly wide-open blue skies.
 
With love,
 
Sara Joy
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara by emailing frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Really Real Reality

  • Yes, But Who Are We Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff
 
Cute Cat Video – Have a cozy week!
http://reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g3vluo/goodnight/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--lzzj5rkK8jKjszVh4Uj1ZQsAiHJYgXFdf3ZIK9ke7LVE0UBEABM2q2f3qwXTE_I3FN9kXekVJMrPNoJy-m-1SeNMcCg&_hsmi=330755053

Listen and Trust

Listen and Trust
  
About 5 years into my 24 years of practice working with people, I realized that if all anyone ever did was listen to themselves and trust in themselves, the whole world would be a completely different place.
 
One of my clinic tutors in chiropractic college was very wise. I can see his smiling face (he was always joyous) but his name seems to be gone from my memory banks. He would always make a point of telling us "Listen to your patient. They know what is going on with them. They usually don't know that they know. But they know." Turns out he was right.
 
I noticed that nearly every new practice member I saw would say a variation of "I don't know what's going on. I think I just need to ______, but what do I know." Or "Maybe I just need to _______, but I can't because of _______." And "I know it's crazy but I think this has something to do with ________."
 
Whenever I heard this sort of thing, I would write it down and invariably it turned out to be true. If the client thought they needed to drink more water, drinking more water would help. If they thought it had something to do with their mother-in-law, then it generally had something to do with their mother-in-law.
 
It seemed very odd to me that I couldn't convince people they'd been right all along, even when I pointed out how they'd been correct. The suggestion that perhaps you should listen to that intuition when it comes up is, more often than not, poo-pooed. People in general don't have faith in themselves.
 
But who would know more about you than you?
 
I keep hearing over and over that all we need do is listen and trust.
 
I came across this passage last week in a book by former Olympic gymnast Dan Millman, "The Laws of Spirit", on what he calls the law of faith. I found it interesting that he also used the words listen and trust. The passage is a conversation between the Sage and the Traveller in this parable:
 
"Faith is one of the greatest stretches, one of the greatest leaps, a human being can take. Because all you have to go on is, well, faith.”
 
“So how do I make that leap?”
 
The sage sat down, settling like a leaf on the grassy slope, and asked me, “What if you suddenly knew with certainty that a higher intelligence was working through you and everyone else for the highest good of humanity – that there is indeed a purpose for every pleasure and hardship?”
 
“If I knew that, it would make a difference.”
 
“The Law of Faith doesn’t require you to believe this, Traveler, but it guides you to live your life as if this were true; in other words, on faith. And as you live in the light of this law, it will transform your perception and experience of the world. You’ll begin to see every difficulty as a test in order to instruct you; you’ll find lessons and opportunities in every challenge.”
 
“Are you suggesting I value faith over reason?”
 
She laughed, apparently finding my comment amusing. “Faith is not the opposite of reason. Applying the Law of Faith is one of the most practical, reasonable, constructive things you can do to live an inspired life.”
 
Reaching out to touch one of the flower petals, she added, “As one of nature’s most delicate and vulnerable life forms, a flower’s life is short and tenuous. A careless footfall, a dry winter, or pounding rain can make a life-and-death difference to a delicate blossom. And yet, each morning it opens wide. Flowers have much to teach us about faith. When you cultivate the garden of faith in your own life, you will, like this flower, come alive in a new way.”
 
I looked down and touched the delicate blossom, so soft and so vulnerable. For the first time, I realized that I didn’t have even the faith of a flower. The sage’s next words responded precisely to my innermost feelings. “Faith is not a commodity that you own or possess,” she said. “It’s the divine order that pervades all things, the light behind your eyes, the loving and mysterious intelligence that emanates from the center of creation.”
 
“How can I experience that kind of faith in my every-day life?” I asked.
 
“To begin, listen to the intuitive wisdom of your heart, where Spirit speaks. So many people rely on books, teachers, scientists, psychics, oracles, or others to advise or direct them, or to validate their views.”
 
“But aren’t I relying on your advice and direction?”
 
A light drizzle began to fall, turning into a downpour. The sage led me under the cover of overhanging branches as she responded. “Teachers and books have their value, and sources of guidance and inspiration may enter your life in different forms. But never forget that the treasure is already inside you; others cannot give you anything you don’t already have; they can only provide keys to your own inner wealth. So listen well to those who speak from experience, and embrace wisdom where you find it, but always weigh external guidance against the wisdom of your own heart.”
 
“There are times I’ve trusted myself, made a decision, and been wrong.”
 
“You may choose one path over another, then meet with great hardship and difficulty as a result of that decision. Does that necessarily mean it was the wrong choice in terms of your highest good and learning?”
 
“Well, no, I guess not.”
 
“Faith is assuming that you always make the right choice.”
 
“I’d love to have that much faith in myself.”
 
“Self-trust,” she offered, “develops naturally, from your own direct experience; you learn to trust your body’s instincts, your heart’s intuition, and your mind’s ability to access universal intelligence.”
 
As a light sprinkle of rain cooled my forehead, the sage pointed to water pouring out of a crack in a nearby rock, forming a waterfall that splashed onto the boulders below. “Do you see how the water appears to pour out of the rocks?” she asked. “Yet, you know that the water comes not from the rocks but through them – that the water’s source is above. Like water, higher wisdom doesn’t come as much from your brain as through it. You aren’t a vessel to be filled with facts; you’re more like a radio receiver attuned to the universal intelligence operating throughout creation. All you have to do is to listen and trust.”
 
“I wish I were as certain of that as you,” I said.
 
The sage smiled again. “Faith means living with uncertainty, Traveler – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark. There is no absolute security except in absolute faith. This doesn’t mean that all circumstances will go your way or that divine justice is operating every time you injure or heal yourself. All sorts of events, both beautiful and terrible, can happen in this world. Our small mind cannot always see the bigger picture or know what is for our highest good. So despite the confusion and insecurity of life, when you can learn to live on faith, like the flower, trusting Spirit working according to a higher will beyond the reach of your mind, you’ll see Spirit operating everywhere, in everyone and everything.”
 
With Love,
 
Sara Joy
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Yes, But Who Are You Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

  • Peace In The Peace

Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Just For Fun
 
Cool link – Read any non-fiction in 10 minutes:
https://sobrief.com/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-89BLxUK97K2ISSBQjpPrrDZRvPUU9doYlZiKW-Iw7jLhh5iwf_yGru-3Lc2riukCJyeo42qRHbGwf979fFltUoymZRgw&_hsmi=328258527
 
Cute Kitties Talking
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1g0gkno/cute_babies_conversation/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9t58NpN7r1iSSqFFJQZ45mKqp02gCFYGbP5oJU3Oa1NTcGEbVZc29RwnQh5kCtGt3HGW2rKeP_4scjilzvl90M8qXgGQ&_hsmi=328934214
 
Interesting find: I came across this website where you can "do nothing". It was extremely pleasant and restful. Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://nothing.mvze.net/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9776ie6ugo2zyMYesJyuUJcZuSe5IQjbLuUAduYScKMWvbZQNneS4fCnq6xdtCoHh5FAeaYRC7HvKQ-VI7ufHsmyTG_Q&_hsmi=326848468

Always Wear A Helmet
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1fy5wdl/pineapple_cap/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--t6aQHF0RZ91ekUZH_vXckLqCG3V10xf2sjoQqj6rPkxxaH7visZYnbtcKQ8wV-QVdc0glirBmICvHGSIk6yusyNiRzA&_hsmi=328258527
 
Chill Murmuration
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2AOsRS1jmk

Insight

Insight
  
Every now and then I get the urge to click on the Facebook icon on my phone. It doesn't happen often. Yesterday, I clicked it. I came across a quote from actor Jim Carrey. What he had to say struck me as an example of a deep insight leading to transformative change. I'd heard years ago that he'd had some sort of awakening or change in his life but I didn't really pay much attention.
 
Here is a bit about his experience.
 
"After knowing Eckhart Tolle for a while and studying the books, I woke up and suddenly got it. I understood suddenly how thought is just illusory, and that thought is responsible for most, if not all of the suffering we experience. And then I suddenly felt like I was looking at thoughts from another perspective, and I wondered, who is it that is aware that 'I' am thinking? And suddenly I was thrown into this expansive amazing feeling of freedom - from myself, from my problems. I saw that I am bigger than what I do, bigger than my body. I am everything and everyone. I am no longer a fragment of the universe. I am the universe." - Jim Carrey
 
This is insight. This is transformation.
 
When he says "I understood suddenly how thought is just illusory", this is what I call an insight. He all of a sudden saw more clearly the nature of how humans work or saw into the nature of life. This type of insight is what creates effortless change for people. We don't have to motivate ourselves to think positively or try to constantly change our mindset to a more positive one. We begin to naturally flow with life. We see that we are life itself. It gets easy.
 
We can operate as we were designed to. You can live the life you were born to live.
 
Other approaches look at your thinking and attempt to replace less useful thinking with more useful thinking. This is not transformative. Nothing changes in how a person sees themselves or the world around them. Specific areas in a person’s life might improve; however, there's no real paradigm shift. No real illumination into the nature of life.
 
Real insight creates massive change in all areas of life effortlessly. Life becomes a joy.
 
Our quote of the week this week is from Anita Moorjani "When you realize your own magnificence, you will only attract magnificence into your life." She had a near death experience, spontaneously healed from stage 4 cancer, and came back to life. Her book is called "Dying to Be Me."
 
It sounds to me that Jim Carrey saw his own magnificence in its fullest sense and then all life became magnificent. Or in different words, he came back to himself.
 
His quote above is a more dramatic example of insight. However, we all come back to ourselves all the time all day long. A more mundane type of insight is when you are lost in thought and all of a sudden you come to and wonder "Oh, where was I?" You were in thought. Now you are not.
 
The only reason people have trouble leaving their habitual thoughts behind is they don't know what the feeling of coming back to yourself feels like. It's a bit of blankness at first, as if I forgot my place in a book. I used to try to go back, to figure out where I was, where I had read up to.  "Gimme a minute, I'll pick it right back up." Without knowing that my brain, my body, my self is trying to wake me up. Being lost in thought isn’t doing me any good. It's what's creating tension or unwanted feelings.
 
When you realize and come back to yourself, in that moment, you are fully present. The moment of becoming present is literally the moment of "Oh, where was I?"
 
That's what people are looking for and miss.
 
We're designed to have insights and come back to ourselves. To come back to our magnificence. We do it over and over all day long. In recognizing the process, we can leave our unhelpful books of habitual thought on the shelf. We open ourselves up to fresh in-the-moment inspiration. We fall into ourselves. After the blankness there is a rising nice feeling. Often an expansive feeling of freedom.
 
We are free.
 
In what I call my transformative work, we sit in conversation and I point people to how we are designed. What is our inherent nature. I point clients to their magnificence. When a client has an insight into the nature of the human experience (just like Jim Carrey) their whole life changes. Over time life just keeps getting better and better.
 
You can't unsee an insight.  It's yours for life.
 
What Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Yes, But Who Are You Before The Thoughts?

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

 
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Other Fun Stuff:
 
Always Wear A Helmet
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/1fy5wdl/pineapple_cap/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz--t6aQHF0RZ91ekUZH_vXckLqCG3V10xf2sjoQqj6rPkxxaH7visZYnbtcKQ8wV-QVdc0glirBmICvHGSIk6yusyNiRzA&_hsmi=328258527
 
Chill Murmuration
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2AOsRS1jmk
 
With Love, 

Sara Joy

Just Me

Just Me
  
In case you didn't know, football season is well underway. For my European friends and readers, I mean American football season, not soccer.
 
My son is a wide receiver for his high school Senior football team. For those who don't know about wide receivers, those are the guys who catch the ball thrown by the quarterback and then run it up the field to hopefully score a touchdown. It's a high-skill position and one that gets you into the spotlight often. There are a lot of eyes on you when that ball is sailing high in a long 45-yard pass. You're tracking the ball, the goal line, the large players from the opposing team who are trying to take you down, and likely a number of other factors that I'm unaware of.
 
It's one of those feats of human performance that feels magical when it all comes together. It looks superhuman. The less a wide receiver has on his mind in those moments, the better he will perform. Humans are incredibly well-designed for action in the moment. We only need be in the moment ourselves.
 
This morning is game day. There's a game about once a week. While getting ready for school and the away game today, my son asks me, "Hey Mum, can you help me with something?"
 
I think straight away it's a physical thing he wants me to look at since I'm always putting him back together from endless sprains, strains, bumps, and bruises. Such is football.
 
"I keep thinking how I'm going to drop the ball and there's a lot of pressure because I got that touchdown last game. I'm worried I won't have good hands."
 
The last game was truly epic for his team. It was like a movie about a high school football team that came back from defeat to achieve glory. And my son had a feature role in that movie. I actually teared up watching that game. There were a number of moments he'll remember for the rest of his life. Unlike a movie, life goes on and there's always the next game.
 
"I know I should be thinking positive and visualizing catching the ball, but it just won't stick."
 
He also told me that the coach has him on kick returns now as well. Think even more catching with everyone watching.
 
Knowing how thought works and that it dissolves on its own as soon as we take our focus off it, I wondered how to help him see that he doesn't need a "better thought". Or said differently, when we take the importance off a particular train of thought, we get off the train.
 
Also knowing how our brain will often make thoughts seem solid, I asked him "Yes, but who are you before the thoughts?"
 
He looked surprised and then brightened. I could see the 5-year-old I once knew in his face. With a big grin he said, "I'm just me. And I can do anything when I'm just me."
 
And that was it.
 
He went off to school and later played a great game with lots of great catches. In fact, the only pass he didn't catch was because of "pass interference". That's when the blocker from the other team is interfering too much with your ability to catch the ball. My son said, "Mummy that guy was hugging me around the waist and I couldn't run." The other team got a penalty for it.
 
We don’t realize that when we are just ourselves without trying to figure anything out or put a lot of thought into it, that's when we are highly effective. We don't need to pay any attention to random unwanted thoughts. They literally have no meaning. It's a way we have of lying to ourselves.
 
Whenever you show up in life as Just Me, your natural talents, gifts, and resources can shine with their full strength. High performance becomes a natural, easy flow.
 
What does Just Me before thought feel like for you?

What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

  • Peace In The Peace

 Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Interesting find: I came across this website where you can "do nothing". It was extremely pleasant and restful. Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://nothing.mvze.net/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9776ie6ugo2zyMYesJyuUJcZuSe5IQjbLuUAduYScKMWvbZQNneS4fCnq6xdtCoHh5FAeaYRC7HvKQ-VI7ufHsmyTG_Q&_hsmi=326848468


With Love, 

Sara Joy

Peaceful and Easy

Peaceful and Easy
  
We had our annual Retreat Day recently at St. Brigid's Villa at the Ignatius Jesuit Centre in Guelph, Ontario. It was fantastic! I hadn't been there before and it's absolutely gorgeous.
 
We soaked in the peace that is the core of all of us.
 
Our minds and bodies found deep relaxation and rest.
 
We started the day talking about and exploring the three principles of life and how once someone really "gets" how they operate, life becomes peaceful and easy. These are sometimes called the 3P's. You can learn more about this understanding in the world at http://www.3PGC.org, an organization dedicated to furthering these principles globally.
 
It's funny because I feel that I am constantly talking about and writing about the three principles and yet I couldn't find one blog post where I delineated or defined them directly. Perhaps it's a good time to do just that. 
 
So, the 3Ps are an articulation of how the spiritual nature of life works (or simply - how life works) as fundamental principles. Elements that are always true for every human on the planet.
 
This articulation came out of Sydney Banks’ (a Scottish welder working in Nanaimo, BC at a steel plant) spontaneous enlightenment experience in the 1970's. It's currently used around the world in many organizations, NGOs, and corporations to help people live with more ease and peace, as we are designed to live. 
 
For example, these principles are the foundation of programs in the UK prison system, school boards in the US, several private schools in Europe, mental institutions, and engineering firms. Many corporations provide training in these principles to their executives to be much more effective in their work and management. Many famous actors, professional athletes, some royalty, some doctors in the British public health system, many psychologists, social workers, and transformative coaches use this approach because of its radical effectiveness. Tons of projects around the world are helping people see the brilliance of who they are fundamentally with the 3Ps. 
 
The three principles or 3Ps are Mind, Consciousness, and Thought.
 
Mind or Universal Mind is the intelligent energy behind all life. It's what grows an acorn into an oak tree and beats our hearts every moment of our lives. We are made of it (everything is). Our core nature is pure spirit or energy if you will. When people live from our inside-out nature, life gets ridiculously easy. It's the force of life itself.
 
Consciousness is our ability to be aware of ourselves beyond our bodies, beyond our psychology or personality. Lower access to consciousness is characterized by tension, stress, urgency, seeing only details. Higher access to consciousness is an expanded feeling, peace, a knowing, seeing a much bigger picture. Full consciousness is always available to everyone - we just don't always see it. 
 
Thought is the energetic creative potential of the Universe. It's what we use to create our reality. It's distinct from thinking or personal thoughts. It's the unlimited and infinite possibility of creation available to us.
 
These three principles are essentially different functions or characteristics of the energy of the fabric of reality. Or said differently, the energy of life. We as humans interact with this formless energy to create our lives. 
 
Each moment in life we are using these three aspects or principles to experience our lives. Whether we know about them or not, it's a description of how humans create, perceive, and navigate life.
 
Insights into the inside-out nature of life and our unlimited creative potential lead to peace and ease in life. Physical healing, dropping of addictions, joy, peace, and ease are common when people look in this direction and keep looking long enough.
 
The Retreat Day is a day where we deliberately look at different implications and aspects of these principles and enjoy the feelings of peace, ease, and ultimate safety that inevitably follow.
 
Our day ended sitting in silence with gorgeous live atmospheric music by Zac Perry (available soon on Spotify, stay tuned for that). It feels so good to tap into the expression of life energy that is you.
 
Life becomes peaceful and easy.
 
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
Anywhere in the world one-on-one coaching Intensives to start living a life you are excited to wake up to each day, filled with delight and enjoyment. Intensives can be structured for Individuals, Couples, and Teams. Ask Nancy for a complimentary consultation call with Dr. Sara.
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • God’s Rollercoaster

  • The Feeling of Urgency

  • Peace In The Peace

 
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Interesting find: I came across this website where you can "do nothing". It was extremely pleasant and restful. Check it out and let me know what you think!
https://nothing.mvze.net/?_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9776ie6ugo2zyMYesJyuUJcZuSe5IQjbLuUAduYScKMWvbZQNneS4fCnq6xdtCoHh5FAeaYRC7HvKQ-VI7ufHsmyTG_Q&_hsmi=326848468

With Love, 

Sara Joy

3P Nakivale Alcohol Department

3P Nakivale Alcohol Department
 
I was recently blessed to have been invited by my friend and colleague Shailia Stevens, a business and entrepreneur coach out of Germany, to participate in a Zoom call with a group from the Nakivale Refugee Settlement in Uganda.
 
I attended, mostly, because I was curious about what Shailia was up to and I knew nothing about what would be presented or even the work that this group is doing in Africa.
 
I am so very glad I listened to my nudge that this was something I would want to hear. I think it's something you might want to hear also.
 
Phillips, Andrew, Nehemia, and Murindangabo each told their stories one by one, over a shaky internet connection in a small basic room, each crowding around the microphone to be heard. They turned off the video to improve the quality of the audio and even then, their internet connection wasn't always up to the task. I had never felt grateful for my own access to the world outside my house by way of the internet. It's something I'd been taking for granted. These people were going to great lengths so we could hear what life was like for them and about the amazing transformative work being done at the Nakivale Settlement in Uganda.
 
I have included the recording of the meeting at the end if you would like to hear it for yourself. At times the audio does cut out.
 
Each spoke slowly in Swahili through Phillips who interpreted into English. In focusing on their voices across the globe, I could hear a depth of love and joy coming through that is unusual in itself and all the more so when you understand their stories. They had lived through literal hell and lifted themselves up from addicted refugees to healthy, free, professional addictions counsellors.
 
All of these men had experienced similar events where armed soldiers burst into their homes in the middle of the night, killing everyone. Neighbours, children, family all gone in a moment of violence. People ran. They ran into the forest with only whatever they had been wearing. They spoke of living in the forest for a while and then making their way into a city. Entire families were lost. Children killed and others who didn't make the journey to the refugee settlement.
 
They, eventually, arrived at Nakivale Refugee Settlement in Uganda.  They are Congolese. I don't think that is a short or easy journey.
 
I have the impression that, as refugees, while many basic necessities were scarce or lacking, alcohol was plentiful. They all turned to alcohol for relief from anger, terror, and what their lives had become.
 
As I listened, I felt the unstoppable brilliance of the human spirit as it was shining through these men. They spoke of sharing love and how love is power. And it was so clear. They spoke with quiet loving power. The power of forgiveness, the power of happiness, the power of who we are at our core. We are love.
 
They had experienced the power of violence and found a greater power in love.
 
They spoke about how they knew God but, in their trials, they had forgotten that hope and love existed. They became addicted to alcohol as many at the settlement do.
 
A friend of Phillips showed him a new way of seeing how life works. What our potential as human beings actually is.
 
Phillips with the help of his friend explored the potential of three principles of life and in doing so freed himself from his past, despair, and alcohol. He then began sharing this understanding of life with others like him at the settlement. The 3P Nakivale Alcohol Department and Satellite Office was born.
 
Murindangabo spoke of our power to create our experience of life moment to moment. We use the principle of Thought as a paintbrush. We can dip our brush in the black; we can dip our brush in the white. You get what you paint. He chose to paint in white and then realized that by doing so, we share that positive mind and love with others. It's innate.
 
When you share love; you receive love. It just feels good.  
 
He said "I just started loving myself. I started changing. My wife saw it. Everything was there. I started feeling happy. I started feeling love. I started forgiving myself and then I forgave others. Every day I am sharing my story and people are changing."
 
He spoke of his deep spiritual insight of dipping his paintbrush into the black or the white. It's his choice. His life and the lives of those around him changed.
 
I was deeply moved at the love and wisdom radiating off Murindangabo as he shared his joy in realizing that everyone has the free will to think whatever they want. Many things had happened in his life that nobody would wish for another human being; however, he is free.
 
Nehemia spoke of the power of forgiveness. "I started forgiving myself and then others and sharing love. Forgiveness is forgetting."
 
In leaving the past to the past and the radical act of literally forgetting, on purpose, Nehemia was able to live in the peace and love of the present moment.
 
Andrew had similar insights into life. "And so, I started loving myself because I had to guide my thinking. We are living with two animals in us. The black one and the white one. You become the one you feed. Happiness is something free. We have forgotten the past. We have the free will to think what we want. We do our best and God does the rest."
 
The simple wisdom about life, that all these men had made real in their lives, is often called the three principles or the 3Ps. It's the articulation, from the Scottish mystic Sydney Banks, of how our experience of life is created and the power resident in each of us.
 
It's the wisdom of the ages that many sages and teachers have stumbled across over time and expressed in different ways.
 
Time and time again, when people hear these truths, life gets ridiculously easy, our psyche and our body heal, and we can genuinely live from love, peace and joy. This way of understanding life is contagious.
 
The lives the refugees have lived at the Nakivale settlement in Uganda prompt them to express this timeless wisdom in their own words and expressions. They have seen how simple life can be. They are showing others by sharing their stories with their community.
 
Happiness is something free.
 
Forgiveness is forgetting.
 
By sharing love, you receive love.
 
We do our best and God does the rest.
 
Which animal do you feed? The black or the white.
 
Which colour are you dipping your brush into? The black or the white.
 
We have the free will to think whatever we want.
 
We are free.
  
They also spoke of the challenges they are having. The need for transportation and gas (the settlement is very spread out), chairs to sit on, and internet time to communicate. Harold Derbitsky, a 3 principles coach and trainer from British Columbia, Canada has set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds to help them with these logistics, the link is below if you feel inspired to help them in their work.
 
Here is the audio of the Zoom call with the 3P Nakivale Alcohol Department:
 
https://www.shailiastephens.com/blog/meet-inspiring-change-makers
 
Here is the link to their GoFundMe page administered by Harold Derbitsky in BC:
 
https://gofund.me/69f009ae
 
 
What Are We Up To?
 
If you would like to explore with me the nature of the human spirit directly:
 
1) Immersion Retreat Day – Last week to register!
 
Have you ever got quiet for just a moment, and everything dropped away? You were just plain happy. For no reason? That is you. That is our potential as human beings. That is a capacity and truth for everyone. Join us in a day-long fun and deeply restful retreat to soak in the amazing feeling of YOU.
For more information and to register, visit our website https://www.drsaraoneill.com/events-1/2024/9/14/immersion-day-2024 or email Nancy at frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com or call 519-880-0003
 
2) Book a complimentary conversation with me about what you could get out of my transformative work and how you could have a richer experience of life and yourself.
 
https://calendly.com/sarajoyoneill/30-mins-with-sara-joy
 
Podcasts:
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • That's Why We Call It Wisdom

  • Connection Already Is

  • The *Bleeping* Randomness and Freedom of Thoughts  

Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a

With Love, 

Sara Joy

What About Consciousness?

What About Consciousness?
 
 I came across a quote today from Eleanor Roosevelt that I thought spoke beautifully to understanding our perspective in life. This is often referred to as one's level of consciousness.
 
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."  Eleanor Roosevelt.
 
It's a fairly well-known experience in life to be very caught up in the details of something. To be worried and concerned because you just can't see the way through. No solutions are coming to you about your problems.
 
And then something shifts. All of a sudden, we can see a bigger picture. You feel more spacious. You can take a deep breath and your shoulders come down. A sense of flow emerges. You realize there was never any real problem to begin with. Things will sort themselves out. Or the obvious solution is right there, in front of your nose, where it's been all along.
 
I've often seen this phenomenon explained with levels or height and depth metaphors.
 
At a lower consciousness, we get caught up in the details.  There is more urgency, more emotionality. More stress. As we rise in consciousness, we start to be able to calm down, there is less stress, less emotion, and less urgency. At times we realize (hopefully with laughter) that we were making a mountain out of a molehill. Then as consciousness rises even more, we gain more perspective, there is a feeling of spaciousness, expansion, and generally better and better feelings and sensations.
 
Sydney Banks, the Scottish mystic from BC, called these feelings and sensations beautiful feelings. He said (and I'm paraphrasing) "look for a beautiful feeling; then go live your life”. You know you are at a nice level of consciousness if you have a beautiful feeling.
 
I’ve found that when people tell me about their problems there are generally three broad levels from where people are stuck.
 
The first is the personal level, where the problem is about a circumstance, an event, or another person. Eleanor's small mind. There is usually more urgency and emotions here. There is a small amount of the energy of life here. As we rise, we come to the impersonal level. This is the level of ideas. Medium mind. There's a little more room to navigate here, more space to breathe. More life energy to work with. If a person has a concern with their spouse, for example, moving from the personal level to the impersonal level might look like exploring what is the nature of relationship. Not all the things he said and did. This usually reveals insights into the truth of life that when the person sees it for themselves, the behaviour or problem on the personal level looks completely different. Or a course of action starts to emerge organically without effort.
 
Where I aim for in my work with others is above the impersonal level to the universal. What is just true for all humans? For example, our unending capacity for love and understanding is a universal truth. The fact that not everybody is living from there, all the time, doesn't make it less true.
 
There are three basic principles that create our experience of life. Sydney Banks articulated them as Universal Mind, Thought, and Consciousness.
 
"the true dreamer, wakes up, sees the illusion, goes back into his dream, knowing that he is the dreamer, and it is indeed all a conscious state, and it's up to you. It is your life. You are all things. You are all things. We are all things. All things are thoughts. All things are illusion. See this, and you'll walk in what is called bliss, or heaven, or in happiness. You see, happiness comes with understanding." - from the Beyond Psychology audio lecture by Sydney Banks. Here is the link to the full 30-minute lecture if you are inspired for more:
 
https://audio.com/sydneybanks-digitallyremastered/audio/syd-banks-beyond-psychology-digitally-remastered
 
So, when I said earlier that "All of a sudden everything shifted", well, what shifted?
 
Consciousness of course! Humans move up and down in consciousness all day long and often don't recognize how good we are at it. If life feels constricted and tense, slow down, take a step back and clear your mind. You will start to feel a sense of ease returning and more expansion. It's our nature. If you stay with it, you'll feel nicer and nicer.
 
When we get out of our own way and let our human spirit guide the way amazing things are possible. We become light hearted. The impossible becomes possible.
 
A wonderful example of the human spirit in motion is Phil Wizard. He is Canada's Olympic gold medal winner in Break Dancing or Breaking. Gravity doesn't seem to apply to this guy. He is truly made of light. If you haven't seen his performance, I highly recommend it. The whole sport is light hearted. Blew my mind! And certainly, raised my consciousness!
 
Watch Phil here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6NlPFdghdQ
 
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
 If you would like to explore with me the nature of the human spirit directly:
 
1) Immersion Retreat Day:
 
Have you ever got quiet for just a moment, and everything dropped away. You were just plain happy. For no reason? That is you. That is our potential as human beings. That is a capacity and truth for everyone. Join us in a day-long fun and deeply restful retreat to soak in the amazing feeling of YOU.
For more information and to register, visit our website https://www.drsaraoneill.com/events-1/2024/9/14/immersion-day-2024 or email Nancy at frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com
 
2) Book a complimentary conversation with me about what you could get out of my transformative work and how you could have a richer experience of life and yourself.
 
https://calendly.com/sarajoyoneill/30-mins-with-sara-joy
 
Podcasts:
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • That's Why We Call It Wisdom

  • Connection Already Is

  • The *Bleeping* Randomness and Freedom of Thoughts  

Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a
 
Upcoming Podcast Appearance:
In September I will be a guest on a podcast with Shailia Stephens-Würsig who works with entrepreneurs in Germany with this understanding of who we are so they can effortlessly create the companies of their dreams. She also works with the 3 Principles Navikale Alcohol Department at the largest refugee camp (the Navikale district) in Uganda helping to raise funds to aid in their highly effective work of freeing people from addiction to alcohol. Stay tuned!

With Love, 

Sara Joy
 

What Smoothies Are You Getting? Part 2

What Smoothies Are You Getting?
  
This is the second part from last week's blog, it will likely make more sense if you start there. :)
 
We are looking at common incorrect foundational assumptions in life and how they can be the source of suffering and a less than full experience of life. They can get in the way of peace, joy, and love.
 
One assumption from last week is that the world is inherently stressful.
 
Most approaches never question that the world is a stressful place and that we are in the fight or flight response all the time. So given that, here is how to motivate yourself, how to pump up more energy, how to have better nutrition, better behaviours, how to have better thinking, how to reframe things we don't like. It goes on and on and on.
 
What if the world wasn't inherently stressful and the fight or flight response was optional or a very occasional thing we did?
 
 
Assumption: We are somehow not good enough or broken or need fixing deep down.
 
Reality: All humans are born whole and perfect beings of light.
 
Experiment to try: Have you ever felt great for no reason? Joy just out of the blue? Maybe during a stressful period in your life, you just felt fantastic for a bit. Think back to as many of these inexplicable times in your life as possible.
 
 
All of a sudden there is no need to get better at anything. We are already perfect and whole. We are already personally grown. We are already and always safe. We have high energy naturally. Our bodies function well naturally. We are designed to live in a feeling of love, joy, and peace. Beautiful feelings. What if there was no right way to live? What if we naturally are compassionate and think of others? What if the adjuration to "Be Kind" looked ridiculous because it's natural to be kind?
 
 
In the transformative work I do we sit together in conversation and look at what things are just true for all humans in life. What is the nature of life? How good does it feel to be fully you?
 
What if it felt amazing? What if it could feel amazing more and more of the time?
 
It's about freeing you up to life fully in whatever endeavours you may dream up. There is no homework, practices, or particular things to do and no one right way to live for everyone.
 
It's about how it works and what you would like for your life.
 
And now the smoothies!
 
I love using a blender as an analogy because in reality we are all blending up our very own experience of life in every moment. We are excellent blender operators. We do it every second of every day we are alive. Most people are blending up smoothies and then getting mad at other people because they don't like the taste of the drink. Or they get mad at the blender. Or they say "Well, a tasty smoothie is achievable for other people, just not people like me". Or “I need to strengthen my fingers so I can press the buttons with more authority so the blender will obey me”. Or “I need to believe in the blender more”.
 
If you know how the blender works, with a bit of practice you will get a feel for what you want to make and have beautifully delicious smoothies. Maybe a couple of disgusting ones along the way. There won't be any mystification about why you are getting the smoothies you are getting though. You'll know why because you mixed it up and will know why you got the taste of the smoothie you got. No confusion and full freedom to experiment with life.
 
In my chiropractic work, I look at how the body works with us in creating our experience of life and I help return your body system to its natural, fluid, responding to life state. I was and continue to be amazed at the power of when people know how the blender of life works, there is relatively little to do to help the body along. Our bodies are amazingly designed and self-correct if we respect them and use our powers correctly.
 
In my jewellery design work, turtlewhale designs, currently on Facebook and coming soon to Shopify, I look at bringing life energy and creativity into glass and designing pieces that embody how a person wants to joyously express themselves in the world.
 
Overall, my work is about the heart of life. Which is you. At the heart of life, there is an intelligent energy that enlivens and empowers everything. We are made of this energy. YOU are the very heart of all life.
 
Would you like to know how to live that way?
 
What smoothies are you blending up?
 
Jack Pransky is well known for his quote "All we are is peace, love and wisdom and the power to create the illusion that we're not."
 
At our upcoming Immersion Retreat in Guelph on Saturday, September 14, we will explore the felt feeling of being in the world from our peace, love and wisdom beyond the illusion.
 
Contact Nancy if you'd like to join us by clicking here frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com. We have a number of spaces left.
 
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Connection Already Is

  • The *Bleeping* Randomness and Freedom of Thoughts

  • The Feeling of Being Listened To

 
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a

With Love, 

Sara Joy

What Smoothies Are You Getting?

What Smoothies Are You Getting?
  
I am commonly asked how my approach to helping others is different. Often words used by various approaches are similar with vastly different results or processes.
 
"How is this different? Your blog sounds different from other things I've read but I can't quite put my finger on why."
 
So here is one version of my answer to people.
 
Turns out it's quite long and so I've divided it up into two parts. This is the first part.
 
It comes down to our foundational assumptions of how we think the world and us in it works. Think of the universe around us like a kitchen appliance. You can work it better if you know how.
 
We generally have foundational assumptions about how life works that are incorrect or misunderstood.
 
Twice this week I was hunting down operating manuals for things in my house because I was confused about the results I was getting with the washing machine and the air conditioner. I was pretty sure the problem wasn't really a problem at all.  It's simply that I didn't know how they were designed to operate.
 
Once I found and read the manuals, I realized pretty quickly what I was doing that was mucking up the works. In the case of the washing machine, once I understood the how of it, I changed my actions automatically. It didn't require any figuring it out since it became obvious what to do. In the case of the air conditioner, my perception changed all on its own permanently when I realized it wasn't broken and it was supposed to make that noise. Just leave it be.
 
In both these cases, I didn't need to do any practices, meditations, motivations, psyching myself up or beating myself up mentally because the solutions were obvious and natural once I knew the system.
 
In a similar way, we are designed to operate very elegantly by default.  Much of the time people are very confused about the results they are getting in their experience of their own lives. We don't have an operating manual we can consult in the same way as a washing machine. It's like we go out and start pushing buttons all over the place and then get upset that we aren't getting the results we wanted.
 
A colleague of mine, Dr. Jack Pransky, wrote a book to address this and called it "Somebody Should Have Told Us!". He operates the Centre for Inside-Out Understanding. And a mentor of mine Mavis Karn wrote a book she called "It's That Simple: A User's Manual for Human Beings."
 
What are some of these foundational assumptions, you may ask?
 
Assumption: Things in life come at us from the outside and we need better and better coping skills to deal with them.
 
Reality: Life actually happens from the inside out. Many psychologists talk about the meaning we make about an event and that we can choose the story we tell. But what if we realize that we don't need to create any story about anything? Things just are. They are neither inherently good nor bad until we label them as such.
 
Experiment to try: If you are feeling tense or negative about something (start with a small something), what if you didn't label the something as "bad"? You can prefer that "what is" was different. But what if it wasn't "bad" to start with rather it just is.
 
 
How does your experience in the moment change?
 
 
Assumption: Life is inherently stressful and that negatively affects us.
 
Reality: Life is inherently neutral and our default state is joy. Stress is 100% internally created and is 100% optional. Nothing outside of us can affect us.
 
Experiment to try: Think of something stressful in your life. Is it stressful at the times you are not thinking about it? How does your experience of it change when you think about it vs not thinking about it?
 
 
I would suggest that no, it's not stressful when you aren't thinking about it as it's not in your awareness then. We live in the feeling of our thinking. When we aren't thinking we revert back to our default state of wonder, curiosity, contentment, and joy.
 
Stay tuned next week for the second part of this blog with another assumption and experiment to try. There will also be smoothies next week. I promise.
 
 
Overall, my work is about the heart of life. Which is you. At the heart of life, there is an intelligent energy that enlivens and empowers everything. We are made of this energy. YOU are the very heart of all life.
 
Would you like to know how to live that way? 
 
Jack Pransky is well known for his quote "All we are is peace, love and wisdom and the power to create the illusion that we're not."
 
At our upcoming Immersion Retreat in Guelph Saturday, September 14, we will explore the felt feeling of being in the world from our peace, love and wisdom beyond the illusion.
 
Contact Nancy if you'd like to join us at frontdesk@drsaraoneill.com or 519-880-0003. We have a number of spaces left.
 
 
What Else Are We Up To?
 
We Go Deep with Kat and Sara: A mostly weekly podcast with Dr. Kathleen Perry and Dr. Sara O'Neill where we go deeper with the understanding that life happens from the inside out. This is a raw and unedited podcast in a conversational style.
 
Recent Titles Include:

  • Connection Already Is

  • The *Bleeping* Randomness and Freedom of Thoughts

  • The Feeling of Being Listened To

 
Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Pocket Casts, and Amazon Music
 
Wildspire Podcast with Stephanie Benedetto - Bliss & the Bigness of Who You Really Are With Dr. Sara Joy O’Neill https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SgFdNP8x5Oagt6AjxYhC0?si=88bc6551037c449a

With Love, 

Sara Joy