Neutral Eyes

I was recently listening to a masterclass with long-time Three Principles teacher and therapist, Linda Pransky. She was asked by someone in the group how to handle when other people were negative. They were fine on their own but when interacting with a negative or complaining person they became anxious, upset, or irritated. 

Linda's response surprised me with her quickness, her accuracy, and her laser focus to cut to the heart of the matter in a very down-to-earth way. 

She burst out "Oh that's easy!". 

She told a story of how she'd become aware that when she was with people who were feeling good and loving and positive, she also felt good. When she was with people who were negative and complaining, she felt angry and irritated. She struggled with this for a long time. Alternately blaming the negative people or judging herself for being affected by their mood. 

She got a lot of clarity around this when she realized, and it became actually real for her, that the only difference between the two situations and the two feelings was her judgment. 

She said, "I was judging the people for being negative and so was living in the feeling of my judgment or judging myself for whatever failing I decided I had. When I felt good, I had no judgment of the people or the situation." 

Linda and her husband George call this "Neutral Eyes". When you see the world around you as it is with neutral eyes, all the extra thinking or judgement falls away. It allows you and your body to relax into life. If something needs doing, it will become natural and obvious to do. 

I realized that I also was doing this. Any time I was judging something as less than optimal, wrong or what have you, I didn't feel good. I had tension in my body. For me, my neck tightens up, I clench my jaw. My gut churns. When I saw the world and people around me with neutral eyes, like a movie camera, everything dropped. At first, it feels like relief or sometimes very neutral. Over time a quiet joy arises. The love for life, as it is. 

I can almost hear some of you saying, "Yeah but, yeah but, what about this and what about that?"

I would say in response to experiment and try it out for yourself. See what you see for yourself. Try looking with neutral eyes and feel for yourself what life looks like. Does your body relax? What do you feel? What do you notice? Experiment with it for a day or even better, for a week. Keep it if you like it. Let me know what you find in your explorations. 

With love, 
Sara Joy