Why Worry Doesn’t Work
This week's blog is an excerpt from It’s That Simple, A User’s Manual For Human Beings by Mavis Karn. Enjoy!
Letter Eleven
Why Worry Doesn't Work
Dear reader,
This may be one of the shortest letters I’m writing to you, but it may well prove to be one of the most helpful. I’ll begin it with my definition of “worry”:
Worry is the learned habit of frightening ourselves with our own imagination.
Worry seems to be one of the world’s most popular useless habits, but I think we keep doing it for what we believe to be legitimate reasons:
1. We think worrying is preventative.
“If I worry about all possible disastrous outcomes, maybe they won’t happen.”
The Truth:
Worrying to prevent disaster works about as well as any other superstition, like not walking under ladders to avert bad luck or avoiding cracks to spare your mother’s back.
2. We worry because we think it’s the same as caring.
“Of course I worry about you – I love you!”
The Truth:
Caring is based in wisdom and loving-kindness; worry is based in fear.
3. We think worry is being responsible.
“If I don’t worry, it means it doesn’t matter to me what happens.”
The Truth:
Worry interferes with and limits our ability to respond.
Here’s a little exercise for you. You might want to write your answers down instead of trying to keep them in your head…
Make two lists:
How do I feel and act when I’m worried?
How do I feel and act when I’m not worried?
Now take a look at the lists side by side. What’s your preference?
Does it make sense that the less we worry, the more we might feel the way we’d like to feel?
Does it make sense that worry might be optional?
Isn’t that good to know?
Much love,
Mavis
With Love,
Sara Joy