I Wonder

I Wonder

I wonder who people would show up as if they stopped listening to that loud negative internal voice.

I wonder who my friend would be if she started soaking in the space of aliveness that is within her.

I wonder what the world would look like if more and more people woke up to their true nature.

I wonder who I am. I wonder what that space of beauty inside feels like for me. I wonder what my life would look like.
 
I wonder...
 
Save The Date! 
We are delighted to announce April 15, 2023 as our next Immersion Retreat Day in New Hamburg. It's a Day to come together and soak in the aliveness of the space within. Also to eat delicious lunch and have some fun!

Being In The Doing

Being in The Doing

I often have the experience of being deeply connected to the feeling of myself when I'm by myself or when I'm not doing anything. Perhaps I'm sitting on my couch reading or actually meditating or just being. Others tell me they have similar experiences. When they are still, they feel like themselves and their bodies fully relax.

In doing something, we often think that we need another mode of being to get the task done. To be quick and efficient. To think properly. Otherwise, the task will be done sloppily and willy-nilly.

I have found in my own life and experience of getting things done that this is untrue. We are most creative, most efficient, most on point when we are still within and rooted in the feeling of ourselves. 

I came across the phrase "dynamic stillness" recently and I noticed there are a lot of books devoted to this topic and that most of the readily available definitions didn't quite cut it for me.

A definition that seemed representative is here:  "Dynamic stillness is to be at one with yourself, simply enjoying the moment, actively observing enjoying where you are, and giving thanks. It is purposely looking around, but keeping still and quiet."

I found myself wanting to take the idea and the feeling further into action.

Find stillness and the feeling of being yourself while being still and quiet, for example, while sitting on your couch, and then get up and do something keeping the inner feeling of stillness and the feeling of yourself as primary.

Initially, this might look like getting up and doing the dishes or something repetitive that doesn't require much "thought". Over time I have found that you can extend this beautiful feeling into doing things that at first glance look like they would require a lot of "figuring it out" or "putting your thinking cap on". With no disrespect to Mme Nevins, my grade 5 teacher, I have found that there is no activity or task or future planning or project outlining or list writing that requires "putting a thinking cap on".

Humans are designed to function in "real-time responsiveness" in the moment. It occurs to us to get something done. That something may be the dishes or the 5-year forecast for the department or the five million dollar budget allocation.  The feeling of something occurring to you to get done is usually quite quiet for most people and we often argue with it for various reasons or just plain out of habit before we settle down and just get the taxes done. Most, if not all, of the mental activity we do around a specific task is in the category of overthinking.

Overthinking is all the thinking we do after we hear the in-the-moment idea or voice that might say "Now would be a good time to do that departmental budgeting". Overthinking or most of our thinking creates tension in our body. Pay attention to your body next time you are running around with something in your brain. Most of us become aware of circular thinking relatively quickly. Next time you notice yourself running around in circles in your head, come down out of your head and notice your body.

Put your hands on your neck and shoulders, notice your jaw. Likely your body is holding on tightly for dear life. Focus on the sensation in your body, for a minute or two or maybe longer, and the tension will begin to melt and change as your attention comes off the thinking that created the feeling.

Back to dynamic stillness. Our bodies, our minds, our spirits are designed to creatively interact with our world without hardly any thinking. To move from one task to another in our day without thinking too much about it. Carry your inner feeling of yourself from one part of your day to another. Flow around your inner core of still.

Your nervous system and your creative spirit will thank you. You will feel energized and refreshed throughout your day.

Natural Resilience

I wanted to call this one "What if There is no Such Thing as Failure?". I still want to call it that but there is so much more to Resilience than the absence of failure.

 When I went to look up the definition of resilience this morning, I found an organization "first tee" that delivers resiliency programs to kids while teaching them golf.

 The opening part of their website starts with Resilience Begins with Failure. Their coaches often begin a program with the following question:

“Who has made a fabulous mistake we can all learn from?” 

In a discussion about past "failures" participants come to see that failure or mistakes don't actually exist. We decide in our thinking that a particular outcome wasn't what we wanted and then label it a failure or a mistake. All failure is, is not achieving a desired outcome yet or on that attempt. E.g., I failed to jump over the one-meter-high jump bar. When the idea of failure starts to look ridiculous and why would we make up that something is a "failure" then you are well on your way to your natural resilience.

Resilience as defined by Wikipedia:

Psychological resilience is the ability to cope mentally or emotionally with a crisis or to return to pre-crisis status quickly.

Other definitions supplied by the internet:

The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

Our natural state is to flow in an ever-present state of now. There is never any other time than now. Given that, I find it curious that definitions of resilience - like the one above - include the word toughness. Toughness implies difficulty. Difficulty or toughness is another one of those label words that doesn't really exist. Something is only tough or difficult if you decide that it is. Curiously.

Dr. Giles P Croft puts it wordily succinctly: Resilience is the visible manifestation of our psychological immune system. Our built-in mood rebalancing.

He sees resilience as the same as "if I look at a bright light, my pupils will constrict and then dilate again when the light is gone."

It's innate. Built in. We are born with it.

 Humans are designed from the inside out for resilience. When babies learn to walk for example, they don't consider every fall or stumble a difficult setback or a failure to overcome. They grin and pick themselves up and go at it again. And again, and again until pretty soon they are cruising all over the house like champion walkers. And runners. And climbers. 

The only reason we move away from our default of resilience is when we add in thinking about what just happened and label it in a negative way.

Back to the babies - "Oh well, what can I expect, that was my 3rd time failing at walking. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. It's just like that time I didn't roll over 2 months ago. It's a pattern of failure. I'll just stay down here."

Hopefully, that sounded funny to you because it's ridiculous.

I was going to write that we are like the materials definition of resilience. We have the ability to spring back into shape. Except that's not true either.

We never actually get "out of shape" or broken in any way. At our core, we are an ever-peaceful space of wholeness from which we can flow into the ever-changing, ever-variable life experience of now.

With grace, love,and built-in resilience.

When I work with people on the table there's a point where your spine, your body becomes fluid and then everything is up for grabs, all possibilities exist. This happens when you become present to life, present to yourself, your core nature. I see my role as a coach and a guide. You are the one becoming present to yourself.

When I work with people in transformative coaching, there's a point in the conversation where you realize the truth of who you are, who all humans are, and how we are designed so perfectly. At this point, your ideas of who you are and what reality is becomes fluid, everything is up for grabs, all possibilities exist. In a Real-lized felt sense. I see my role as guide along the way to who you really are. You are the one becoming present to yourself.

The Sun And The Clouds

I recently came across a metaphor that points to who we are as humans or the truth of our core nature by Dr. George Pransky.

"At our core, the very essence of human beings is goodness, love, and joy. That core is ever-present, like the sun. But, also like the sun, our core can be obscured temporarily or even eclipsed.

 As the sun is eclipsed by clouds, our goodness can be eclipsed by our thinking. Goodness, wellbeing, and love are always there even when we can't experience it or see it."

I love this metaphor because it points to the truth that our default is always love and understanding. We always beam out the warmth of the sun and can bask in that warmth ourselves. We shine for ourselves first.  Nourishing our being, renewing, and replenishing without having to do anything or remember to do anything special - just notice.

And yes, like a sunny day outside, the clouds of our thinking obscure that warmth and nourishment temporarily from time to time.

The sun of you always shines even in the night.

I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday full of joy, resting, and shining.

Love,

Sara Joy

Ourselves

There is a space within every single human being. A space that overflows with love and peace. A space where we are untouched by any circumstance of life. This is where our inspiration comes from, our creativity, our peace of mind.

 We can tap into and live from this space at any time and at all times. When I say we, I mean everybody. No matter what.

 The most common way of being in the world is to keep ourselves imprisoned with habitual thinking. I've noticed, first with myself and then others, that most of this thinking narration is towards ourselves and it's horrifyingly negative.

 When pointed out, I mostly hear a variation of "Oh yeah, I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself". And then amazingly the person merrily carries on internally slamming themselves 24/7. If you really knew not to do it, then you wouldn't still be doing it.

 When we constantly listen to and believe our own unworthiness, our bodies respond and over time degrade. Chronic pain is the most common outcome of this. Other diagnoses are common due to an inability of the body to heal and replace healthy cells with other healthy cells in a negative thought environment.

 The good news is that changing how we relate to ourselves is simple. I was going to say easy but that's not always true. It is always simple.

 You can completely disregard any and all ideas, thoughts, beliefs, limits, images, voices, feelings that have to do with you being a complete worthless piece of shit (or milder variations). I can tell you that this voice is lying to you. One hundred percent.

 Treat it as you would a person yelling on a street corner that The End Is Nigh! They can rant on and on about all the terrible things they believe to be true and SOON! The business people passing by on the way to work carry on happily without being affected. This is because they don't believe that person knows what they are talking about.

 The same is true with negative self-talk. That voice doesn’t know what it is talking about.

 As human beings, we are all made of the same energy as everything else in existence. The energy of life, the energy of the Universe that beats your heart, flaps a butterfly’s wings, sprouts a tulip bulb, and creates a smile on a baby's face. The space of joy and bliss that a baby inhabits is who we all are. Connecting to the possibility and the sheer wonder of who you are is the most worthy activity I can think of. The most amazing thing about that is we are always already connected. To EVERYTHING!

 This space of who we are within everyone is the space of our inspiration, the space of aliveness at the core of every human being, the space of love, the space of soulfulness, the space of vibrant energy that never runs out or dims, the space inside you where you are untouched by stress or trauma, the space of beautiful being, the space of beingness, the space of beauty, the space of a deep river of love, the space of healing where we are already healed and never needed to be healed, the space of wisdom, the space from which we can live fully present to life, the space of wholeness, the space of Mind, the space of joy, the space of peace, the easy space of ease, the space of forgiveness, the space of nature, the space of our true nature, the space from which babies live, the space of pure love, the space of innocence, the space of ecstasy, the space of being average, the space of ordinary, the space of divine laughter, the space of playfulness, the space of infinite expansion, the space of being limitless, the space of being, the space of just being, the space of doing in being, the space of being lived, the space of creation, the space of creating the world in doingness-beingness, the space of being unapologetically alive,

 the space of ourselves.

I was a Guest on A Podcast

I recently was a guest on my friend Rob Cook's podcast! It was so fun! We explored possibilities in life and health and many other topics of wonder.

 Here are the details:

 Ep 93 Sara O’Neill “Upstream Healing“

 Sara is a chiropractor, an Olympic-style weightlifter, and a new 3 Principles coach.  As she discovers more about the Truth of what a human being is, Sara sees more and more that what she learned in school as the truth about the human body, is not necessarily Truth. The deeper Truth that Sara now sees, is that the body heals as we drop thought, not as we control stressful thinking. The more Sara sees Truth, the more she sees that understanding who we are at our core is where True healing happens.

 The 3PGC’s podcast called “We’re Listening.  A Community Where All Voices Are Heard” hosted by Rob Cook. 

 Specific Episode Link:

 https://stream.redcircle.com/episodes/19eae1ef-60ba-4407-a95a-6b793c5fc809/stream.mp3

  The Podcast Link: 

https://redcircle.com/shows/we-re-listening

Transformative Coaching looks to transform a person's understanding of how life works. This allows for one's innate wisdom and wellbeing to express fully and easily. By extension, your life transforms effortlessly.

 A coaching session by its nature is a facilitated conversation of possibility and wonder. Exploring together the space within all of us that is the joy and essence of who we are.

 Some people work with a Transformative Coach to have a nicer experience of life or to improve a certain area of life such as relationships, money, anxiety or sports performance. A transformative coaching session is very different from other forms of coaching or counselling. We generally don't go into painful past events or relive traumas. The conversation is more of an exploration of what life looks like from our different perspectives. The results and change I've seen with people since looking in this direction are foundational, effortless and beautiful.

 If you or someone you know (anywhere in the world) would like to explore with me how this could help you, use this link to book a 30-minute exploratory session with her over Zoom or in person:

 Book now

 For more information check out our new website page about transformative coaching or email drsaraoneill@gmail.com.

New Possibilities

Our physical bodies are affected negatively by three things. These are called the three T's by the originator of chiropractic, D.D. Palmer.

 Trauma, Toxins and Thoughts.

 Trauma is anything physical from a car accident to working out at the gym. We generally heal from physical traumas quickly in a bell curve type pattern when the physical event is over. Initially, we are sore and then that tops out and we return down to feeling good.

 Toxins are anything chemical that comes into our bodies that takes extra effort by the body to process through. This can be medications, pesticides, cigarette smoke, alcohol. You get the picture. When we stop inputting the toxin and it clears from our system any negative effects also leave.

 Thoughts are similar yet an often overlooked category. We feel feelings in direct relation to the types or quality of our thoughts. Happy thoughts create happy feelings and sad thoughts create sad feelings. Both these categories of thought/feelings have an impact on the spine and the body via creating a posture and physiology to match.

 In the same way as the physical and chemical categories, when we stop inputting Thought we return to our factory default settings. This is a space within all of us deeper than either the feeling of happy or sad.

 Our innate peace and wellbeing that is at the core of who we all are.

  Transformative Coaching Announcement

In the last few years, I have really seen a need for people to experience and live from their deeper, natural state of wellbeing and peace. It just happens to be our default nature.

 I am pleased to announce that we are adding a new service to the office to meet this opportunity.

 Dr. Sara O'Neill is now offering Transformative Coaching. Transformative Coaching looks to transform a person's default understanding of how life works. This allows for one's innate wisdom and wellbeing to express fully and easily. By extension, your life transforms effortlessly.

 Some people work with a Transformative Coach to have a nicer experience of life or to improve a certain area of life such as relationships, money, anxiety, or sports performance. A transformative coaching session is very different from other forms of coaching or counselling. We generally don't go into painful past events or relive traumas.

 If you would like to explore with Dr. Sara how you could work with her in this capacity, use this link to book a 30 minute exploratory session with her over Zoom:  Book 30 minutes with Dr. Sara

Factory Defaults

Restoring the factory default settings is an analogy I use a lot in relation to getting a spinal entrainment. 

 With Network Spinal Care I coach and guide your nervous system to self-realize that it's built up un-useful tension patterns negatively affecting one's life experience on physical, emotional and spiritual levels. I see myself as a coach pointing you to your already whole state.

 The human nervous system, the brain and spinal cord, is elegantly designed to return to its original settings once handling a problem is done.

 We return to a state of wellbeing automatically.

 What happens if we think the "problem" is never done?

 Well, then the "problem handling" software keeps on going...and going...and going.

 A teacher of mine, Michael Neill, recently sent this email out from a book he wrote called "Supercoach":

 As I wrote in Supercoach: A quick look into a baby’s eyes will reveal that we are born at peace – in tune with the infinite, in touch with our bliss, resting in the well of our being. But even as babies, our very human needs from time to time interfere with our connection with this innate well-being. We experience physical discomfort and because we do not yet understand the source of that discomfort, we do the best we can – scream bloody murder! Then, to our delight and amazement, someone comes and ‘makes it better’ – they feed our hunger, dry our bottom, entertain our nascent brains with funny noises and rollercoaster type movements, and before we know it, we are nestled back into the bosom of our innate well-being.

 Over time, it is the most natural thing in the world for us to begin to connect and even attribute that return to well-being to the people or activities that seem to be causing it – we are OK because Mummy loves us, we are OK because Daddy protects us, we are OK because the people around us, for the most part, appear to have our well-being at heart. And then one day we do something in our joy that Mummy or Daddy doesn’t like – we splash colours on a wall, or cry when Daddy’s tired, and suddenly the ocean of love we are used to swimming in is filled with sharks and other monsters. Before long, we have bought into the myth of love and well-being being outside us, and the need for a persona is born.

 Well-being – happiness, connection, love, peace, spirit – is our essential nature. So, all our attempts to capture these feelings from out in the world, no matter how well intended and practically followed, are doomed to fail. Not because happiness and well-being are unattainable, but simply because it is impossible to find what has never been lost.

 So much of what we are striving for is there for the taking, it makes less and less sense to work so hard for what is already ours. When you don’t drink rat poison, you don’t need an antidote. And when planning and remembering your way out of the present moment, separating yourself out from the whole, and thinking your way out of well-being stops seeming like a good idea, you do it less and less.

 At some point, the system resets, and you get a fresh start.

 Will you get caught up again in the illusion?

 Experience promises us no less. But a part of the kindness of the design is that you don’t only get a second chance – you get a third, and a fourth, and a fortieth.

 And since presence, connectedness, and well-being are a part of the factory default, you’re only ever one insight away from everything you’ve been working so hard to achieve!

Happy Summer Holidays!

As we head into summer, I wanted to wish everyone happy summer holidays.

This Friday is Canada Day and I realized that to me, Canada Day is about togetherness and belonging as a nation. For everyone who wants to belong. By nation I don’t mean the country, the politics or the foreign policy. I mean the nation as the people. All the people. All the different people.

It's my neighbour who helped me find my wayward cat yesterday, it's the man who owns the local Halal butcher shop near me, it's the furnace repair guy who the whole neighbourhood shoveled his truck out, twice, on his way back to the main road in a blizzard, it's my daughters’ friend who wonders if she's a lesbian, it's the people 4 streets over who maintain the community skating rink. It's the people. It's all of us. It's the newest Canadian from India I met last week, while playing basketball, who is concerned about keeping warm this winter. It's the homeless people sleeping in the woods near my house.

All of us who are all different from each other. And yet we all have similar hopes and dreams. We all want to feel love. We all want to be warm and safe.

The nation is the people. As we evolve, we grow and learn. We make mistakes. We create community. We love our individuality.

I love my neighbours. I love all of our differences.

We are all Canadians. We are all human.

Happy Summertime!

With Love,

Dr. Sara

I Cannot Lose Myself

Anxiety and The Fear of Losing Yourself

I used to be afraid of my feelings. I would be caught up in fearful anxiousness to the point of severe panic attacks. I was also afraid of going into an attack. What if I didn't come out? What if I never feel good again? I thought that I was somehow broken and wrong.

I have found in practice that this is a fairly common misunderstanding of how feelings and thoughts work in our body-mind. Many people experience this. I can tell you it's no fun.

I came across this piece of writing by Jeff Foster recently and found that it encapsulated this phenomenon better than I've heard before and gives lovely direction as to the question everyone asks which is "What do I do about it?".

"I Cannot Lose Myself" by Jeff Foster, author and poet

I used to be terrified of feelings, my own feelings and the feelings of others.

I believed that if I went too deeply into feelings, if I let them exist for too long in me, if I allowed them to live in my body, I would go mad, or I would be destroyed by them somehow. Or they would never leave, and I would get “stuck” in them forever, sucked into their dark heart, no way out.

I feared “losing myself” in feelings.

I feared my own fear. I had anxiety about having anxiety. I was angry with my own anger. Like many, I believed that I had dark, sinful, dangerous energies inside of me, and that I had to avoid these ‘demons’ at all costs. This was all a child’s superstition, of course, totally reasonable conclusions for an innocent child to make.

But as I stepped into presence, into my adult and out of my trauma, I came to realise that ALL feelings are safe, even the super intense ones. They come and go in the body. They are not permanent, and they just want to be felt, blessed, loved, offered safe passage, and move on.

I did not have to fear or resist my feelings any longer, even the intense and uncomfortable ones. I could just relax, breathe, open, surrender, trust, and let them pass through.

I cannot lose myself for I am present even at the heart of loss.

With Love

Dr. Sara